One of the biggest problems women face when it comes to hookups is getting feelings involved. Falling for a guy isn’t difficult for most women. This is because of the way women’s brains react after having sex. But what about men? Do guys catch feelings after hooking up?
Oxytocin is a hormone released by your brain and leads to feelings of bonding and trust.
Yet, while women often get attached to men after a hookup, it doesn’t seem like men always feel the same way. This leads you to ask, do men have feelings after having sex?
The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. Men may catch feelings after a hookup, but it’s not guaranteed. Many factors determine how our feelings after hooking up.
Understanding Oxytocin’s Effects
I often think of oxytocin as the love hormone, and with good reason. Released during intercourse, it creates feelings of affection for women. Yet, it doesn’t affect men and women the same. After you have this hormone released, it makes a short period of trust.
Most men can enjoy a hit of this pleasure and then go back to their normal selves. In contrast, women may mistake oxytocin release for feelings.
Understanding Men’s Reactions to Sex
Different genders are also prompted by sex. Women’s desire for this level of intimacy often begins mentally. A feeling of connection and desire starts before having any physical reaction.
In contrast, men have a physical desire. Their high levels of testosterone push them to have sexual expression. We’ve all seen how teenage boys going through puberty can have an erection at almost anything!
Even adult men have a physical reaction when nothing is present. For them, it could be their partner coming out of the shower or undressing in front of them. Since men have a physical reaction to any number of stimuli, they may not have feelings for you.
This is one reason why guys don’t always catch feelings after hooking up. Not every physical reaction involves feelings.
For men, sex is both energizing and exciting. Since men are often driven by their hormones, they can find inspiration from a hookup. A man is willing to work harder for a woman’s affections if he believes it will lead to the potential of sex.
They also find sex to be exciting in most cases. After all, sex is exciting. Men have an easy time orgasming, which almost guarantees that they’ll have a good time every time.
Men Desire to Give Pleasure
Because a hookup may not cause a man to have feelings for you, that doesn’t mean he’s detached. After all, have you ever been with a man who cared about what you were experiencing?
In men’s minds, they want to experience a mutual pleasure. They may ask you what you want or make a significant effort to make the experience rewarding for both of you.
Male partners who are selfish are rare, although greedy men do exist. If you’re with a man who hookups within a few minutes, then he is only interested in himself.
Think about the hookups you’ve had before, though. Did the guy ask you about your own experience? Did he respond to your reaction and change what he was doing based on that? This is why men are often baffled when they’re considered selfish for wanting a hookup.
When Do Hookups Cause Men to Have Feelings?
Keep in mind that every man is different. It’s best for women to not expect that a hookup will be anything more than what it appears. After all, if a guy offers a hookup, you shouldn’t hold him to any type of commitment. That doesn’t mean a guy won’t catch feelings for you after hooking up over time, though.
When it comes to sexual release, this causes men to feel as though they’re at home. Experiencing physical affection and release with a partner can be a soothing experience.
Sometimes without realizing it, men want a more emotional connection than a release. For men, lovemaking creates this emotional bond. Making love often creates a feeling of attachment and spurs generosity and connection.
Men want to feel desired. Knowing that they’re chosen by their woman can lead them to enjoy a relationship. Guys want the physical bond before the emotional connection. In contrast, most women want the emotional connection before a physical connection.
It’s impossible to determine if a hookup will lead to a long-term relationship. So sleeping with a guy isn’t the best way to pursue a serious relationship. It can occur. But before you sleep with a guy, consider if you’re actually okay with no attachment.
Hookups and Regret
When it comes to hooking up with a guy, women often feel regret. But men can as well. Hookups can be good and bad. Women are more likely to regret a hookup and feel a sense of guilt or shame.
Men are more likely to not regret the action but instead regret their choice of partner. The woman didn’t have the physical attributes he likes.
The type of hookup may also vary your reaction to it. Women have fewer regrets about a hookup when they don’t have sexual intercourse. Oral sex is less engaging and often not with regret.
This may be because oral sex isn’t on the same level of intimacy that actual intercourse can be.
When it comes to regrets, most men report that they regret inaction more than anything. Even when the hookup isn’t a great experience. Men say that they would rather have an encounter that’s not amazing rather than no encounter at all.
This may be why men are more likely to branch out for partners.
Finally, the number of hookups that a man has had can also change how he feels after hooking up. Men with a lot of sex will not consider sex with you as an emotional experience worthy of a connection.
Sexual regret is a complex topic. Yet, people who report more hookups tend to have more regrets than people who have few hookups. It’s not known why this occurs. But having many partners may compound your feelings of discomfort.
Post-Hookup Blues
Not even regret occurs all the time, but both men and women experience a mild sadness the day after hooking up.
In fact, experts estimate that about 25% of people feel empty and confused after they’ve had a hookup.
The experience that was exciting and adventurous at the time is over, and you don’t know what else to do. You feel obligated to stay in touch with the person. Or you feel a sense of sadness that you might never see this person again.
What can be a positive outcome of a hookup is that it may be a learning experience. Many people find that hooking up can increase their confidence as sexual partners.
For others, hookups may not lead them to a relationship or romantic feelings. But cause them to feel as though they should be in a relationship.
After all, hookups are short and don’t lead to other activities that are fun, such as “couple” events. Being able to have that level of intimacy with a partner doesn’t always happen in a hookup. After a guy has a hookup, he may realize that he wants to pursue a relationship and start dating.
Should I Hookup with a Guy if He Doesn’t Catch Feelings after Sex?
This is a question I often ask myself when I’m feeling a desire to seek out a hookup. Women should ask themselves is if they’re in the right state of mind to have a hookup. Especially because a man may not catch feelings for you after hooking up.
People who have attachment anxiety should not consider a hookup. The experience would be traumatizing. Also, people who want the approval of their partner tend to have more negative reactions to a hookup.
When a woman is in the right state of mind for a hookup. She will be able to disconnect from her emotional state and look forward to having a good time.
This isn’t easy for a lot of women and may not be possible for you. Some women approach hooking up with a guy with the idea of going on a trip to the beach. Yes, you’re going to have a good time, but you’re only going for the day and won’t come back again.
When you can approach hookups with this mindset, it’s much healthier. Because you understand that the guy may or may not catch feelings for you after the hookup.
Should I Avoid Hookups?
The answer to this question isn’t a simple yes or no. But, now that you know how guys experience a hookup, you may decide that they’re not for you. When you always regret or don’t enjoy hooking up, then it’s okay to not have them.
Men can disengage, which is why they can leave you behind. If you can’t do the same, then it may not be suitable for you.
