When you’re dating someone, one of the qualities you look for in a man is consistency.
You want a guy to show you their true intentions. Every woman aspires to date someone sure of their feelings for them and not gives them mixed signals that encourage confusion.
Dating a hot and cold guy, you don’t know what to think of the relationship or the direction in which it’s going.
One minute they show they’re into you, and the next, they offer the exact opposite.
In the following, we’ll be discussing ways to break up with a hot and cold guy.
Why Guys go Hot and Cold?
There are several reasons why a guy goes hot and cold with you, one of them being a fear of intimacy or commitment. Guys who are afraid to commit to one woman for a long period to see where the relationship goes often don’t know how to process or deal with their own emotions.
Hence, they end up giving mixed signals to the person they’re dating.
This isn’t a reflection of their lack of interest, but they’re simply not ready for a serious relationship or intimacy.
Another reason why men go hot and cold is some men try to get you to chase them through mind games. One of the most common mind games, unfortunately, is the hot and cold method.
The more someone pushes you away, the more you force yourself back into them.
The guys that go hot and cold for this reason lack attention and affection, and they think they can get you by playing games with you.
If he treats you hot and cold because he’s playing with your attention, then he’s not serious about you at all. It’s not about the fear of intimacy, but it’s the lack of genuineness and seriousness in his feelings with you.
They can’t break the relationship off, so they make you initiate it for them through their mixed signals.
The most common motive behind a guy acting hot and cold towards you is selfishness.
They’re doing everything in their power to seek your attention and affection without consistency and genuine effort.
How to Deal With a Hot and Cold Man
No matter their reason for acting this way, it’s an unfair gesture, especially if you’re already in a relationship with him.
A man cares about his ego and pride, so when you ignore him even after his mixed signals, you have the upper hand.
Suppose you want to avoid being affected negatively by his hot and cold actions. In that case, the best thing you can do is ignore him and pretend that you don’t notice what he’s doing.
Go about your daily life and act like nothing’s different with your actions and behavior. This will make him the confused one instead of you.
You should also know when you’re being treated less than you deserve as nobody you’re dating should ever have to play mind games with you and leave you guessing what their intentions are.
If they’re earnest about you, they shouldn’t be hot and cold with you, but they should be consistent with their intentions from you right from the beginning.
In the following, we’ll be discussing more ways you can deal with a hot and cold man.
1. Mirror their actions
When dealing with someone who treats you hot and cold, the best thing to do is mirror their actions.
They won’t like seeing you do this to them since they think they have all the power in the relationship. Mirroring their actions is how you subtly deal with them.
When women reflect mixed signals of a guy that she’s dating or in a relationship with, he starts to see this as indifference.
He’ll begin to realize that his actions are no longer affecting you, and he won’t like this.
You’re basically treating him the exact way that he’s treating you.
He might even potentially realize how bad it feels to be the receiving end of the hold and cold behavior.
2. Don’t ever chase them
If there’s a single action you can do that wrecks your self-worth and confidence, it’s chasing someone who’s giving you mixed signals all the way.
Their motivation behind doing this to you is to get you to notice them more, and by chasing them, you’re proving that they’re worth your attention and effort.
If someone treats you with indifference, they already don’t deserve you in the first place, so the last thing you should be doing is chasing them.
Doing so will encourage them to keep doing what they’re doing since they think that this kind of behavior effectively gets women to notice them.
3. Focus on yourself
Remember to not give in to their power by focusing on your life instead of how their behavior is affecting you negatively. You’re dealing with the situation with grace and calmness.
The more you show how bothered you are, the more motivated they’ll get to keep giving you mixed signals. You need to focus on your own life and keep yourself distracted.
Stop thinking about your relationship and how their behavior negatively affects you, but keep working on how to improve yourself.
Personal development is the most empowering choice you can make, mainly when the confused guy is focused on playing games with you.
The more he sees how unbothered you are, the more he will be put off by his own behavior and actions.
He’ll end up questioning why his hot and cold behavior is no longer affecting you as he expects.
4. Confront him
Confronting him is the last and final step to dealing with his hot and cold behavior, especially if you want him to do something about it.
You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you like you’re everything one moment and then chooses to dismiss your existence in the next.
You need to decide whether it’s worth keeping the relationship with someone who treats you so consistently and someone that no longer encourages your growth.
Confrontation is the last step if you want something in your relationship to change, and if your hot and cold guy doesn’t, you need to decide whether to break up with him or not.
Many women choose to walk away in this scenario because, with any relationship, you need someone that sees your worth above anything else.
A healthy relationship doesn’t find the need to play mind games just to have your attention or because they’re afraid of intimacy.
Instead, the right person will tell it as it is, and you’ll know their feelings just by how they treat you consistently.
Anything less than that isn’t a relationship worth tolerating or having.
How to Break it off With a Hot and Cold Guy
If you want to break it off with a hot and cold guy, you need to tell them as it is and confront them directly.
Don’t hesitate to be harsh with showing how their behavior is wrong, especially since this is an actual relationship you’re having.
Let them realize why treating someone with a hot and cold behavior won’t lean things in their favor, and it won’t give them the power in the relationship.
There’s nothing admirable or good about giving someone mixed signals, especially when all people want something brave enough to tell their feelings as it is.
You can break it off by telling them that they do something to actively change their behavior and become better.
Still, if you don’t see a change, you should part ways.
Why You Shouldn’t Tolerate a Hot and Cold Guy?
There’s no benefit gained with tolerating a hot and cold guy in your life, no matter how much you like and adore them. Guys that run hot and cold will waste your time, are non-committal and frustrating.
You will always find a better relationship with someone that doesn’t believe in playing games or giving mixed signals to gain your attention or affection.
The more you tolerate this type of behavior, the more he’ll keep doing this further in your relationship.
You deserve better than someone who treats you in this inconsistent behavior, and you can’t love someone into the person you want them to be.
You can try and motivate them to change and see why their actions are wrong, but the change is up to them entirely.
If they don’t become better, there’s no reason why you should keep tolerating the relationship further, especially with someone who doesn’t know what they want.
Conclusion
I hope this article could shed insight into everything you needed to know on how to deal with a hot and cold guy.
Dating someone who is into you one minute and not the next is one of the worst kinds of behavior you can deal with.
It’s never easy to deal with without affecting your self-esteem and confidence entirely. You need to remember that guys who do this enjoy having the power in the relationship or just aren’t ready for a relationship.
You need to understand that you can’t change someone who’s just not prepared.
