How Playing Hard to Get Can Work Effortlessly on Any Guy

From a girlfriend, family member, or dating coach, you probably heard that all you have to do to get a man is play hard to get. It’s good advice.

By playing hard-to-get, you can build attraction, get a man to desire you, and even make him chase you. Men love a challenge, right?

But there is a catch. This tactic doesn’t work 100% of the time.

In fact, if improperly used, this strategy can backfire on you. Instead of attracting the man of your dreams, you could end up repelling him.

This post will answer the following questions: Does Playing Hard-to-get work on Men? Why do women play Hard-to-get all Wrong? How to Play Hard-to-get the right way? 

Does Playing Hard to Get Actually Work on Men?

The short answer is yes. Playing hard-to-get does work on men. The reason is that playing hard-to-get women can create a feeling of desire in a man for you.

Most men are up for a challenge and enjoy the thrill of uncertainty that comes with pursuing someone they are not sure is interested in them.

Everyone wants what they cannot have, so being aloof and unavailable creates a perception of value to men.

Suppose you decide not to go out with your boyfriend, who hasn’t appreciated you lately. And decide to spend more time with friends and family.

Every time your man reaches out to you for a date, you have plans with friends. Your aloofness and hard-to-get approach will create a sense of wanting in your man. And he will start to pursue you and appreciate you again.

All guys want a woman; they have to work hard to win over. To men, the challenge reflects your worth.

However, being seen as easy, you can be perceived as desperate and less valuable as a mate to men.

This is because NO man wants to be with a woman every Tom, Dick, and Harry can get with.

Guys want women to be a bit more selective. Guys like a woman that no other man can get. 

how playing hard to get - image of a couple smiling

Why Women Play Hard to Get All Wrong?

Women are playing hard to get wrong, and it’s backfiring on them. There is a common belief amongst women that playing hard-to-get means being mean and rude when a guy approaches.

This is a terrible strategy because it only turns men off. Men are drawn to likable, agreeable, and enjoyable women the first time they meet.

Women that play hard-to-get this way. Put yourself in a man’s shoes for a moment. 

Suppose you’re out and you notice an attractive woman. You decide to approach her, and she gives you the cold shoulder because she thinks this is hard to get.

You would think she was rude and an unpleasant person. Instead of attracting a great guy, this approach will repel a man.

Women also get it wrong by pretending to not care about having a man. These women play it way too cool.

When you play hard to get this way, you could attract a guy that isn’t into commitment. A guy will think that you’re open to not committing or being in a serious relationship.

Another issue is playing hard-to-get-to get the upper hand with a guy. Women who play hard to get this way have some other problems. For these women, it’s all about control in a relationship, and nobody wants to be controlled.

So these women must seek the counseling they need to become valued partners in a healthy relationship.

How to Play Hard to Get the Right Way?

Suppose you want to play hard to get the right way. In that case, you must understand that this strategy only works in a particular situation. For women, that situation is when you first meet a guy, and you have initially shown interest.

That way, he knows you like him, and during the initial interaction, you’re likable, agreeable, and pleasant.

Suppose you meet a guy online and decide to go out with them for the first time. It would be a good idea for you to be very pleasant and engaging during the first date.

So he at least knows or thinks you’re into him. That way, he can invest in getting to know you.

Yet, once the guy knows you’re interested, you can use this tactic after the first date. You can become more preoccupied with friends and other priorities in your life.

Now don’t become entirely unavailable for him; just make it a bit more challenging for him to spend time with you.

That way, you build his desire for you. This is the correct way to use the hard-to-get strategy. 

Again when a man meets a woman, he has to get a sign that she likes him initially. A woman can give this signal by being nice to him and building rapport with him.

If you aren’t friendly to a man initially and he doesn’t know that you like him, playing hard-to-get will blow up in your face.

This is what many women get wrong when they incorrectly apply this strategy. 

Playing hard to get only works when a guy is already interested in you. With the idea that you’re at least a little interested in him, a guy will be eager to fall for a hard-to-get strategy. 

The Takeaway 

When appropriately implemented, playing hard to get is an effective way to attract a guy.

This strategy should not be used in all situations but in particular circumstances when you’ve already shown a guy that you’re interested in him.

The objective of playing hard to get is to be semi-hard to get, however, still be approachable yet mysterious.

You want to attract a man, not repel him. So don’t be rude and give him the cold shoulder; instead, be pleasant, fun, and engaging.

Allow him to invest in you and build his desire for you.

Now that you’ve learned how playing hard to get works on guys and how to do it the right way, check out my post, The 3 Reasons Women Play Hard-to-get Wrong.

In this post, I will take you in-depth into the main reasons women fail to properly use this dating strategy.