The world of friends with benefits is complicated but exhilarating at the same time. There is just something extraordinary about having a sexual relationship with someone without the act of committing it. However, while it seems like a great idea at first, many people staunchly believe that being friends with benefits doesn’t always work.
There are many reasons why people want to have such setups. Sometimes, people are too busy for an actual relationship but don’t mind the occasional sex. Some people don’t like doing it with strangers, so they enter an FWB relationship with one of their friends.
FWB vs. FuBu
When it comes to “no strings attached” relationships, the popular ones are FWB and FuBu setup. Often, people confuse them together. However, you must understand that they are two completely different types of sexual relationships.
Usually, people who are already friends before any sexual relationship enters an FWB setup. This means that beyond sexual satisfaction, they also care for each other as friends. FuBu relationships, on the other hand, are purely sexual. Over time, both of you can develop a friendship.
However, in both cases, having romantic feelings can lead to complications. Since sex is involved, it can quickly get complicated, especially if emotions are not reciprocated.
Women often find FWB relationships much more satisfying as they do it with someone they already trust. There will be fewer complications by setting some rules, and you can even have a long-term FWB relationship without encountering any problems.
Friends with Benefits Rules
Do friends with benefits work? Well, it depends on the people and circumstances. Not everyone can make it work. But if you found a person who is open to this type of relationship, there’s no harm in trying.
While difficult, it’s not impossible to navigate this type of relationship. Surprisingly, an FWB relationship can work if both of you follow specific rules that are common among people in a romantic relationship.
Here are a few rules that can help your FWB setup become successful.
1. Be Emotionally Ready
Before you can even sort out any relationship with other people, you first need to be truly honest with what you want. Do you really want a simple sexual relationship with your friend? Or do you have feelings for them?
Of course, neither must have romantic feelings for the other in an FWB relationship. It will get unnecessarily complicated, and both of you might lose the fun you’re having. However, if you have feelings for them, it’s also essential that you don’t lie to yourself and continue the setup to get closer to the person. You’ll end up getting hurt if you lie to yourself.
2. Be Clear with Each Other
It’s not a good idea to have a relationship based on ambiguity. The current dating world is messy, and there are just too many labels that even I can’t keep up. However, all the questions can quickly be answered if both people in any relationship are honest with each other.
Ideally, both of you should be clear from the beginning. Since you are actually friends and not just strangers having casual sex, you must be aware of each other’s intentions. Being a decent human being is something that many people forget when they enter a friend with benefits setup.
You can discuss the following things with the friend you’re casually having sex with, so you’ll know that you are on the same page.
- Are we allowed to talk about other people we’re seeing aside from each other?
- Can we disclose our setup to some of our mutual friends?
- Can we be clingy or flirty with each other?
- Should birth control methods be used?
3. Don’t Crave Affection
When amazing sex is involved, some people might crave affection outside of the bedroom. However, it might just complicate things. Sometimes, it’s better if what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.
However, this is not a strict rule. After all, friends often go out together to have fun. You just have to ensure that neither of you is developing any feelings and you’re keeping things chill and fun.
There’s nothing messier than when assumptions enter the equation. It’s impossible not to overthink when people start going on what can be misconstrued as a date; it’s impossible not to overthink. This can lead to having false hopes, which can ultimately end the setup.
Because of this, it’s easier if you simply don’t crave attention and other things that are expected in a romantic relationship. Sure, it might be nice when it’s freely given. But you simply have to understand that it’s not a requirement in an FWB setup.
4. Set Your Own Rules
Like any other type of relationship, friends who are casually having sex with each other can set their own rules on what they want out of the relationship. Setting rules up will protect both of you from being hurt while in this setup.
Contrary to popular belief, rules are not necessarily always restrictive. It can also be a way for you to explore your kinky and fun sexual side with someone you trust.
The goal of being in an FWB setup is to simply have fun with your friend without the complications of being in an actual relationship. So, whatever rules you might think of, all you need to remember is that this relationship can bring the fun and satisfaction you both need.
5. Open Yourself Up for Potential Relationships
Unless otherwise stated, there is no exclusivity in an FWB relationship. Both of you are free to pursue other relationships, even romantic ones. Don’t let the FWB setup ruin any potential relationship because you’re hoping that you and your friend might end up together.
I know some men who want to take things slow with the girl they like, so they have no strings attached relationships such as an FWB setup. This is one of the apparent reasons why you should never keep your hopes up when it’s clear that you’re just friends.
You can also explore the dating world outside your setup. Getting to know someone who you might end up marrying takes time. Some women don’t want to have sex with that person right away, but it’s alright to have their sexual needs satisfied by other people.
However, you also need to remember that any sexual contact should cease once someone is in an exclusive relationship. Otherwise, it might end up ugly for all people involved.
What Happens After FWB Setup Ends?
Like all good things, FWB setups can end. It can hurt even if there are no romantic feelings involved. All you can do is prepare yourself for the possibilities that might happen.
You Remain Friends
Having a relationship is not the goal of people entering an FWB setup. Since it’s all strictly sexual and fun without the romance, ending the setup does not necessarily mean that you should also end your friendship with the other person.
I’ve met people in an FWB setup right before they met their significant others. There is nothing wrong with staying friends with someone you’ve casually had sex with before, as long as you’re upfront and honest about it with your new partner.
You Stop Contacting Each Other
Perhaps this is the worst-case scenario. FWB relationships have a reputation for being very messy. This happens when a one-sided feeling develops. When this happens, it’s better to end the relationship before going any further.
You might also encounter other complications such as jealousy, misunderstandings, and dishonesty. It’s best to talk it out, but sometimes the friendship cannot be saved. This is a risk you have to understand when entering an FWB setup.
You Can Be in A Relationship
Can FWB relationships turn into romance? The truth is it depends, but it’s not impossible. Since there is genuine affection, a romantic feeling might blossom after having sex with each other.
I’ve known people who have started their relationships with casual sex before progressing into a romantic relationship. Perhaps, you’ve also watched some movies depicting the very same thing. Though difficult to achieve, it can happen.
What Do Guys Really Think About FWB Relationships?
When entering an FWB relationship, a woman’s biggest worry is that other men will find it disgusting. Because of misogyny, this seems to be exclusive to women in the relationship.
Men who didn’t grow up in a highly conservative space will be completely cool with women having casual sex with other people. It’s even more favorable since men are more commonly emotionally closed off than women.
Some men do not like women who engage in casual sex. However, you should never live your life according to their standards. If it’s something you want, that should not hold you back from enjoying it.
Takeaway
Sure, FWB relationships are fun and exciting. But, if you aren’t prepared, it can quickly get messy. You need to be extremely careful with your feelings and learn how to separate sex from love.
You simply need to understand that it only takes honesty for things to work out. While this blog can help you navigate an FWB setup, having clear communication with the friend with whom you’re having casual sex is still the key to a fulfilling and fun relationship.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this post The 5 Characteristics of a Manipulative Man and learn the 5 character flaws manipulative men exhibit that reveals their true intentions.
