It’s frustrating dating a man that doesn’t see you as a priority in his life.
You plan all your dates and support him emotionally when he is down, only to have your dates canceled and your support goes unnoticed.
This article will show you how to become a priority to men. In 5 simple steps; checking your standards, getting clear with what you want, showing men you value yourself, speaking up, and cutting your losses.
Why not Being a Priority in a Relationship is Wrong?
It’s very frustrating when you are with a man who doesn’t make you a priority in his life. You put in maximum effort for little or no reward. You become the person that calls all the time, plans all the dates, and keeps the relationship together.
But the problem is all your efforts are being taken for granted.
One reason men don’t make a woman a priority is because some women chase men instead of allowing a man to pursue them. This happens when a woman is so infatuated by a handsome man that she becomes the pursuer.
Women who chase men do not take the time to vet partners to determine if the guy is right for them.
Women often stay in non-priority relationships with guys because they like the man so much they don’t want to say anything that will jeopardize the relationship.
Another problem with not being a priority is that you start to have resentment toward your man.
Suppose you have been the only person who seems to care about the relationship. And all your efforts to strengthen your bond go unnoticed. It’s enough to cause resentment.
The 4 Signs You’re An Option, Not His Priority
I think it’s important for women to know the signs to look for when a man doesn’t see them as a priority. So I put together a list of the 4 most common symptoms that you’re an option and not his focus.
- He Only Contacts You at Night or at the Last Minute
If a guy only wants to go out with you at the last minute, it’s a clear sign the guy has other priorities that are more important than you.
If a man contacts you at the last minute for a date, it means his first option canceled on him, and he called you as his second option.
- The man will Flake on You.
Men that see you as a priority will never cancel dates. They look forward to being in your presents. If he has to cancel, the guy will call you in advance and reschedule because you are important to him.
But when you are an option, guys will flake and cancel dates at the last minute or without notice. This happens when someone that has more priority than you becomes available.
- His Relationship with You is a Revolving Door
You allow him to come in and out of your life. Men that see you as a priority want to be a constant in your life. Men that want to be with you will not disappear because their absence will give another man the opportunity to replace them.
However, when you aren’t a guy’s priority, he will pop in and out of your life.
- He Only Wants to Have Sex With You
If the guy you’re seeing only spends time with you if it involves sex, then you aren’t very high on his priorities list.
Sex is vital in every relationship. But sex shouldn’t be the only time you see your man.
How to Become a Priority to a Guy Instead of an Option in 5 Steps.
If you want to become a priority to men, these 5 steps will help you increase your status.
- Check Your Standards
Is this guy someone, your best self, wants to be a priority for? Has this guy shown you that he is ready to make you or anyone a priority in his life? Does he have the values you find valuable for a successful relationship with you?
If the answer is No, stop prioritizing him and create new standards for yourself.
- Get Clear With What You Want
Before any man can make you a priority, you first must understand what a priority looks like for you.
To clarify what a priority looks like for you, complete this exercise. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the center.
On the left side of the paper, write down the actions a guy has to do so that you feel like a priority. And on the right side of the paper, write down the needs those actions fulfill.
For example, on the left side, you write “a guy must see me once a week,” and on the right side, you write “the need this action fulfills is security.”
This exercise will help you clarify what a priority looks like for you.
- Show Him That You Value Yourself
Often women aren’t valued by men because women don’t show value for themselves. Show guys that you love yourself by showing men how to treat you.
For example, if you value your time and like people to show up for you on time, then let your date know that it’s essential for you if he is going to take you on a date that he shows up on time.
If your date shows up late and he has not called to let you know he will be late, do not go on a date. Tell him you will not go out with him because he showed up late and that you will be happy to go out with him another time if he can be on time.
This teaches him your time is valuable, and if he wants to see you in the future, he must show up on time.
- Speak Up
Now that you have clarified what a priority being is for you. It’s time for you to show guys how to treat you by speaking up anytime a date is not making you a priority.
This step can be a little confusing. When I say speak up, I’m not talking about aggressively yelling at a guy whenever he treats you as less than ideal.
By speaking up, I mean having soft words but showing ruthless actions. For example, you’re dating a guy that uses profanity around you. You don’t like when people use profanity, so you decide to talk to your date about it.
You tell your man that you enjoy spending time with him, but you don’t like it when he cusses. It keeps you from getting closer to him. Use soft words to get him to comply.
The next time you are on a date, if he uses profanity, you take ruthless action by ending the date.
- Cut Your Losses
This basically means that your actions are serious. If your man isn’t putting in the work required to make you a priority, you have to end things with him.
How fast or slow you end things with a guy is based on his level of investment with you. A guy that has made you a priority in the past but has recently gotten lazy, you may be slow to end things.
But if the guy has never made you a priority, you may end things with him more quickly.
Conclusion
Again dating a man or in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t make you a priority it’s a terrible feeling. You give maximum effort only to be his option.
Before you build resentment, remember the 5 steps you can take to make a man treat you like a priority.
- Check Your Standards
- Get Clear With What You Want
- Show Men That You Value Yourself
- Speak Up
- Cut Your Losses
By following these simple steps, you will know what a priority should look and feel like for you. And you will speak up for yourself or cut your losses if a man treats you like an option.
More importantly, you’ll attract men that will see you as a priority.
If you enjoyed this article, please check out my post, How to Set Boundaries With a Man without Being Controlling.
And learn the simple steps to set healthy boundaries that come from self-love versus controlling your mate.
