About 2 years ago I met my girlfriend on a popular dating app. While connecting online, she told me she was new to internet dating. And still believed many of the online dating myths.
In fact, she had given herself 30 days to connect with someone before she would delete her profile. We hit it off online and began a committed relationship.
Internet dating has become popular. And many people have found love online. I have always wondered why internet dating is still so taboo to many people.
Why do we view online dating as bad?
Online dating has gotten a bad reputation. We’ve heard each other’s negative internet dating experiences. From having to deal with catfish to dealing with rejection from a potential mate. We assume we’ll have a similar experience.
I decided to do some research and debunk the 4 most popular online dating myths.
Too Many Options are bad for you.
We’ve all heard the saying “Too much of anything is a bad thing”, and for the most part that idea is correct. Too many music choices and you end up not choosing a song. More flavors of ice cream than you can imagine and you choose cake instead.
I get the theory, but this online dating myth isn’t valid.
People assume internet dating creates so many potential dates for people. That we aren’t able to decide who we want to settle down with – leaving us worse off.
But the theory doesn’t apply to dating.
Why this is a myth?
Dating and relationships are different from ice cream and music. In that, dating involves a person with feelings. If you start a relationship with a man or woman you met online. Then decide you want to date someone else, that person is going to care.
Having more potential mates to choose from doesn’t create negative repercussions. For people that chose to find a partner online.
Online dating offers a huge benefit over meeting someone in person. In that, you’re able to find potential mates you have commonalities with but never crossed paths. You are able to increase your pool of partners from your small town to your state or beyond.
Believe it or not. Having more choices for a future mate boosts your opportunity to find your soulmate. Sophisticated algorithms, dating sites use, can match you with compatible dates. This is a good thing.
Internet dating doesn’t create too many options. The technology provides you with a shortlist of potential dates to help you find the love of your life.
Online dating is the reason for the Hookup culture.
Ever heard a friend or acquaintance say to you “I hate online dating. Every guy I meet only wants to hook up with me. Internet dating is killing romance and relationships. I wish I could meet a man the old-fashioned way.”
Why this isn’t true?
Here’s why online dating isn’t the reason for the hookup culture. A lot of people tend to believe that settling down with one person is something everyone wants.
But in modern dating, not everyone wants to settle down. Casual relationships and friends with benefits situations are more popular today. Not because of internet dating. But because people are into hooking up without strings attached.
Internet dating isn’t the reason for hookups.
The internet dating world replicates the offline dating world. In that, you can find exactly what you are looking for online. There are sites you can go to where people are looking for long-term relationships. There are also sites where people are looking for casual hookups.
Love, relationships, and sex are basic human needs, not technology needs. The internet didn’t make someone want to hookup nor create the hookup culture.
But, the technology does match people with similar interests. Who otherwise would not have found each other. This is online dating’s biggest benefit.
It is a myth to believe online dating is the cause of hookup culture. Internet dating only mimics real life.
Online dating makes you superficial.
You have been single long enough, you’re tired of sharing your weekends with your friends, Ben & Jerry. Promising yourself you won’t spend another weekend at home.
You decide to meet someone online. But before you create your profile you ask the opinion of your best friend.
Your friend tells you don’t join a dating app, those sites will make you superficial. Her view is that dating sites are a popularity contest, where guys only message sexy clade women.
This online dating myth comes from the fact that some people fear change. They think if we go from meeting in bars. To meeting online, the technology is going to undermine some important social values.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Why this is a myth?
Online dating doesn’t make someone superficial. Sure, dating apps, function by allowing you to look at other people’s pictures and profiles. You swipe right or left on the profiles you think are attractive.
It’s kind of superficial.
But it’s superficial because dating is a superficial process. When you date someone you’re judging them to see if they will make a good partner.
A woman will judge a man to see if he’s a gentleman. She’ll ask herself the following questions: Will he open my door? Does he pay for the check? Is he going to ask me out again? All to see if he is worthy of a relationship.
Humans are judgemental. We’ve all made split-second judgments of people we’ve met. Judging someone’s looks is not an attribute of internet dating. It’s a characteristic of how we look at each other.
Internet Dating isn’t Safe.
When people think of online dating 2 things come to mind. You’re going to get catfished. Or lured into a fake relationship and scammed out of your money.
Since we have all heard horror stories about people that met someone online that harmed them. We assume internet dating isn’t safe.
Why this isn’t true?
In reality, the few horror stories we all hear about are only a very small minority of cases. If you think you’re safer meeting someone at a nightclub or the grocery store think again.
Online dating is much safer. You are able to gather much more information on someone (via chats through the app or site). This decreasing your odds of ever meeting an ax murderer.
Several online dating services are serious about protecting their members. Many of these platforms, allow you to report suspicious users. And have the user removed.
And many of these sites offer members safety tips so they will have a safe and fun experience on their site.
The Takeaway
Don’t believe the many online dating myths. I’ve stated at the beginning of this post that internet dating has gotten a bad reputation. People believe the internet dating myths. They think too much choice is bad for us. Online dating is the cause of the hookup culture. They believe internet dating makes you superficial and the technology isn’t safe. These are baseless online dating myths.
I have come to the conclusion. People that believe in myths fear internet dating. Because they think the technology will destroy some vital social values. They fail to consider the many benefits online dating creates.
They fail to see the technology doesn’t destroy our values but replicates real life.
