When you’re in a relationship with a guy, it’s easy to feel isolated when you don’t have any other friends in your life.
However, it’s crucial to maintain a friendship even with a guy friend, despite your commitment to the person you’re dating.
You need platonic friends in your life outside of the relationship. Friends give you someone to run to when you need a piece of unbiased advice for your relationship or when you need to see things from a guy’s perspective.
In this article, we’ll be talking about everything you need to know about being platonic friends with a guy.
What is a Platonic Friendship and What is Not?
A platonic friendship is defined as a form of friendship without any sense of romance or close intimacy seen in committed relationships.
Still, it’s simply a friendship between two people who genuinely enjoy each other’s company. It’s a close friendship without the possibility of physical attraction or intimacy between both people involved.
A guy and a girl can maintain a platonic friendship as long as they aren’t attracted to one another. Having a friend you aren’t attracted to you rule out the possibility of falling in love or acting on honest feelings for one another.
A friendship goes beyond platonic when one or both people have feelings for the other. The relationship develops into something more than just friendship.
Even if it’s easy to cross the line beyond platonic, it’s genuinely possible for a platonic friendship to maintain nonsexually, even when the people involved are from opposing genders.
Even if one has feelings for another, as long as you keep firm boundaries and don’t let your emotions get in the way. It’s still possible to make the friendship work.
Why Would a Woman Want To Be Friends With a Guy?
There are so many reasons why a woman should want to be friends with a guy and develop nothing more than a platonic friendship.
First, when you’re friends with a guy, and you’re currently dating someone, or in a serious relationship, you have a fresh perspective on the relationship from a guy’s point of view.
If some miscommunications or arguments happen, you can get the comfort of a guy friend, and they’ll tell you how a guy deals typically with conflict in a relationship.
While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, having a guy friend outside of your relationship can help you understand guys better.
Since men and women are also wired differently, befriending someone from the opposite gender expands your perspective on not just relationships but on life as a whole.
How To Establish Boundaries and Not Cross Them
Boundaries are the primary key if you want to maintain a platonic friendship with someone from the opposite sex, especially if you’re in a relationship with someone else.
You must talk about this with your guy friend because if you’re uncomfortable sharing information with them, such as intimate details, you need to discuss boundaries.
Otherwise, it’s possible to potentially cross over the platonic relationship and make it into something more than that. To learn more about boundaries read my post ” Why Guys Test a Woman’s Boundaries” and learn the signs guys give when they’re testing your boundaries.
You also need to check on your flirting. Because you can be flirting with your nonsexual friend and ultimately be unaware you’re doing it.
Since it’s just in your nature or just how your friendship is.
You’re in a relationship.
This means if you want to avoid destroying the relationship you have with the person you’re dating, it’s best to stick to your boundaries.
Even when it’s easy to cross borders, remember how much you value both your friendship and relationship to avoid doing this.
Ways To Maintain Your Platonic Friendship While in a Relationship
1. Be mindful of your words and actions
If there’s even a slight chance that you would feel guilty doing your actions when your boyfriend is around, then you’re making the wrong set of steps.
You need to always be mindful of the things you’re doing and words you’re saying to your guy friend that won’t potentially break your friendship or cross boundaries.
You can still be friends with them while avoiding disrespecting your partner in any way.
Avoiding touching them too much or saying metaphors that could be mistaken as flirting.
Always reflect on your behavior and actions every now and then, just so you’re sure you’re maintaining the proper boundaries in your platonic friendship.
Your guy friend isn’t someone you should be touching too often.
Otherwise, you could be acting on your feelings for them or disrespecting your significant other.
It’s these things that can entirely break the friendship you have with your guy friend, especially if it comes off as something more than friendship.
2. Don’t compare your boyfriend to your friend
They’re two different significant people in your life, and nobody should ever feel like they’re being compared.
The last thing anybody wants to think is that they’re being contrasted, and it can make your guy friend insecure, and the same could also go for your boyfriend.
The last thing your platonic friend wants to feel is that they’re less significant in your life than your boyfriend.
This also goes for your boyfriend – that you shouldn’t make them into someone similar to your guy friend because it doesn’t work that way.
This is the reason why there’s a stigma that opposite genders can’t be friends – because when you let yourself compare them, it’s easier to find comfort in your spiritual friend.
You need to be aware that you’re comparing both of them on the circumstances you’re doing so and avoid doing it as much as possible.
Your guy friend, especially if he’s someone considered your best friend, should never have to compete with your boyfriend.
Both relationships are different, whereas one is platonic and one is romantic.
3. Don’t complain or rant about your boyfriend
Another thing you can do that can potentially break boundaries is to complain about your boyfriend to your guy friend.
If you’re not happy with the relationship, you can just leave instead of ranting entirely about the person you’re dating.
You can get pieces of advice from your guy friend, but you can’t complain about your boyfriend all day.
You can run to your friend when the fight gets too unbearable. Still, if that’s all you do every time you catch up with them or spend time with them, then something is entirely wrong with your relationship.
You need to fix it without the perspective of your guy friend. They can give you advice, but it’s up to you to resolve the problems of your relationship.
4. Reassure your boyfriend that it’s not a big deal
To maintain the right boundaries, you need to reassure your boyfriend that your guy friend will just be a friend to you.
If he’s afraid that something more can develop, continually reassure him with the right words and actions to make him believe you.
It can also help if your boyfriend meets your guy friend to see for himself that all you are is friends and nothing more.
It might take time for your boyfriend to believe you.
But keep reassuring him that you can maintain a healthy friendship with another guy outside of the relationship without developing any feelings for them.
However, you need to do your part in sticking to boundaries, so your platonic friendship remains a friendship.
Communication is critical when reassuring your boyfriend, so avoid assuming that he already knows you’re a priority, but tell him that he is.
Make sure he knows that your relationship is entirely different from that of your guy friend, and don’t hesitate to share feelings of jealousy with one another.
Tell him that his feelings are valid and reassure him anyway.
5. Maintain a healthy distance
Just because you’re platonic friends with a guy doesn’t mean you take advantage of it and do anything you want with them.
Since you’re also in a relationship, you need to be wary of the distance between you and your guy friend. If possible, maintain a healthy distance from them in all aspects – physical, emotional, and mental.
This doesn’t mean you should push them away entirely, but you need to ensure that you aren’t too close to them with the dangers of falling for them or vice versa.
Conclusion
I hope this article could shed insight into being platonic friends with a guy.
While it’s not a common thing you see, it’s entirely possible to maintain a platonic friendship with a guy while you’re in a relationship.
The key is to hold firm boundaries with your platonic friendship and not make it into something more than it is.
You also need to communicate effectively with your spouse on the circumstances they feel jealous or insecure about your guy friend.
And remind them that they are still your top priority as the person you’re in love with.
