Finding the guy of your dreams is exciting, and you may have a future planned out in your mind with him. However, your man may not have any plans to get married down the road.
You have to decide if you will accept that or if you want to move on. It can be hard to say goodbye.
Yet, it can be harder to stick around if you want more than he can give you. Communication is essential in a healthy relationship.
Your boyfriend shared that he doesn’t want to be married doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or want to be with you.
On the other hand, he may not want a serious relationship at all. You have to ask tough questions to determine where you stand.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking he will change his mind down the road. Don’t give him an ultimatum unless you are willing to walk away!
Can a Relationship Last without Marriage?
Yes, a relationship can last without marriage if marriage isn’t something both partners want to do. Society puts plenty of pressure on couples to get married. Marriage is considered the foundation for a life together.
After Marriage, it is expected for the duo to buy a home, have careers, and have children.
That path isn’t ideal for everyone. There are plenty of people in committed relationships who aren’t married to each other.
They don’t feel the need for that piece of paper to cement their commitment to each other.
If you or your loved ones view living with someone but not being married as living in sin, it can be challenging.
Living together without being married can create tension in those relationships or make you feel unfaithful to your religion. Your own beliefs and other variables influence how you think about it.
Marriage is a word some people fear. For others, it brings up a dream scenario of a ceremony with their true love.
A relationship can last without Marriage if both parties are on the same page with it. You can love someone, spend your life with them, and never legally be married.
Why your Boyfriend is Afraid of Marriage?
Give your boyfriend respect for being open and honest with you about their view on Marriage. Listen to what he shares with you.
This conversation is going to bring up many questions for you. Ask them, but don’t be judgmental.
You aren’t going to change his mind, and you can’t dismiss his fears. Understanding why he may be afraid of Marriage is essential. Perhaps he has been married before, and it was a disaster!
A failed marriage and a messy divorce can cause a guy to put on the brakes for any future wedding.
Did he grow up in a home with parents who often fought or cheated on each other? When a person grows up seeing Marriage as a burden or not taking it seriously, they don’t want to be part of it.
They may have close friends with awful marriages, and they don’t want to take that path.
Some men believe a woman will change if they marry her. They will stop looking their best or put on weight.
He may have poor self-esteem and feel you aren’t good enough for him. The fear in the back of his mind that you will one day leave him can be realistic to him.
The cost of a wedding is something many men don’t want to think about.
They don’t see any reason to spend the money on the event when the funds can be for other things like a home, a nice vacation, or even buying a vehicle for the couple to use.
The reasons your boyfriend is afraid of Marriage will depend on his perceptions, his past, and how he views Marriage.
Give him time to explain it all to you and listen to what he shares with you. It can help you understand his position.
Level of Commitment the Reason Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to get Married
What is his level of commitment to the relationship? Does he want to live with you and build a life but not be married?
Is he caught up in the moment and doesn’t see this as a long-term relationship? Find out information about his past relationships and how long they lasted.
Why did they end? It isn’t uncommon for a guy to have a pattern of sabotaging relationships, so he doesn’t have to feel pressure to get married.
If you think he is fully committed to you, you may want a future with him without Marriage. If he isn’t, don’t waste your time!
Note: I wrote a post about this topic. Read ” Why Men Won’t Commit & What Can be Done About It” to learn what you can do if your man doesn’t commit.
Are you willing to give up Marriage to be with him?
In your heart of hearts, do you love him completely? Are you willing to give up a marriage to be with him?
Do you plan to buy a home and have children with this man? Does he treat you well and provide for you? If there are red flags in the relationship, it is best to cut your losses.
If you don’t feel you can genuinely live with him and not be married without resentment, it will not last. Your feelings aren’t going to change, and neither will his.
The issue will become the elephant in the room and destroy the relationship you created.
What should you do if your partner doesn’t marry you?
If your partner doesn’t want to get married right now, when will they feel like doing so? They may feel the relationship needs more time to develop.
They may think you are both too young or you need to finish your educational goals first.
If they have no desire to get married at all, you have to respect that. Being mad at your boyfriend or upset about his decision isn’t going to change how he feels.
You have to decide if you want to accept their choice and stay with them or end the relationship so you can marry someone else in the future.
If you decide to stay with them but not be married, discuss significant purchases. How will you buy a home or vehicle?
It is essential to have both of your names on such investments. How will you handle income and household finances? You can get a joint account or keep them separate.
Planning for the future if you are going to be a couple but not marry is essential.
Planning for the future includes giving your man the power to make medical decisions for you if you cannot do so. It includes planning for retirement and other life changes.
The Takeaway
When you are attempting to create a relationship with a man that doesn’t want to get married, you must spend a lot of time talking things out.
Ask the tough questions.
Ultimately, determining whether to continue being with your boyfriend boils down to you.
If Marriage is your goal and vital for you, then you should not compromise. It’s better to be with a man that shares the same values as you.