Why do men have to lie? A complaint women wonder about men when their partner has lied to them about where he has been, why he got home late, or what he was doing last night. But the truth is, we all lie.
Men and women tell fibs occasionally for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we lie to keep from having to explain intimate details of our day and other times we lie to keep the peace.
From the innocent white lie to sinister lies that can wreck a relationship, we all do it.
Men, however, have a bad reputation when it comes to being truthful in a relationship – at least that’s what women believe.
Here are 4 reasons why men lie to you.
Men lie because they don’t want to hurt you.
When a man gets in a relationship with a woman, guys know what they can and cannot say to their girlfriends. We know our opinion matters and the effect our choice of words can have on you.
It’s for this reason, men are compassionate to a woman’s feelings. We don’t want to be the reason your feelings are hurt.
So, when you ask, “do I look fat in these jeans?” and your man says no. He may be lying, but he did it to protect your feelings.
A man that loves a woman wants to shelter his woman from harm, as best as he can, and will avoid saying anything that will tear her down.
For example, you’re out at the mall with your boyfriend and you notice him glance at an attractive woman passing by. You ask if he finds that woman attractive. Your guy looks at you and says “no, you are far more beautiful than her.”
A man, in this situation, knows that if he told you the truth – that he was attracted to the woman – it may not be received well. Your feelings could be hurt and you may think your relationship was in jeopardy.
If a man thinks being blunt and speaking his mind will hurt his woman’s feelings then he’ll bite his tongue.
Guys lie to look good and impress you.
Often a man will lie to a woman because he is trying to impress her. I’ve been guilty of this. We do it to make a good impression. We want to be desired by you.
All men know women want a man that can provide for them emotionally as well as financially. So, to impress you, a man will concoct a lie about his job.
Instead of telling you the truth that he is an entry-level computer programmer. A guy that wants to impress you, will tell you that he is a program manager with IBM overseeing the company’s new program rollout.
By inflating his employment, a guy is hoping you will find him more attractive.
Guys also tell lies to boost their own egos. It’s a big dopamine rush, to some men, to attract someone out of their league. A man that’s attempting to attract someone beyond them will stretch the truth about some aspect of himself – job, income, or social life – hoping to appear desirable.
A man will lie to protect his own self-interests. (avoid confrontation)
You’ve been dating your boyfriend for 6 months, everything has been going great. Your man has shared everything with you and as a result, you have grown closer to him.
You recently found out the man of your dreams slept with his co-worker around the same time you all met. You wonder, “why didn’t he tell you this when you first met?” He has shared everything with me until now. What gives?
Here’s the deal – men will lie to protect their own interests. He didn’t tell you the truth because doing so wouldn’t be in his best interest.
Your boyfriend knew if he told you the truth about the fling with his co-worker you would not have dated him or it would have lead to an argument.
If a guy thinks by telling a lie he can avoid an argument, then he will tell a lie. The lie spares him from a fight and makes his life a little easier. It is my belief that men lie most to avoid confrontation.
For a lot of men arguing with your woman is an absolute nightmare. Arguing can leave a man in the doghouse for days with their spouse and hurt a thriving relationship. Faced with those consequences a man will lie.
For instance, your man goes out with a group of his friends and one of his female friends comes on to him. The next day you call to check on him and ask about his night out – do not be surprised if your man lies or omits the fact that his friend came on to him.
This is just his way of avoiding a confrontation. To men, it’s better to tell a lie or omit the truth in this situation.
Men lie to control women. (To get you to stay/not leave them)
The lies men tell to control women are more sinister in nature. These are lies men use to manipulate women into getting what they want and to control the situation.
For example, you’ve been seeing a man for a year and you just found out he is married. To keep you from leaving him, he tells you he’s in a terrible marriage and is filing for a divorce. You take his word for it and continue the affair waiting for his divorce.
In truth, he isn’t going to leave his wife for you. He only told you this con to string you along so he can continue to sleep with you.
Here’s another example, you’ve been communicating with a man you meet online. Everything is great, you all have a lot in common. Then months later, after you’ve slept together, you ask about a commitment.
You find out he doesn’t want a relationship. He hid his intentions to get into your pants. He became everything you were looking for in a mate for his personal gain.
Guys that are manipulative are extremely charismatic and charming. They’re also the biggest liars. When you discover you’re dating a manipulative liar, end the relationship as soon as you can.
The Takeaway
Why men lie? Men lie for a variety of reasons, some reasons are innocent and other reasons aren’t so innocent. But ultimately, men lie because they are afraid of your reaction to the truth.
