Finding the right partner in the current dating world isn’t easy. Men can waste your time. So you have to be on the lookout and constantly analyze the type of people you attract.
You have to set boundaries and work on yourself as an individual to avoid using loneliness as the reason to get into a relationship.
The dynamics of dating men as women isn’t easy because there are so many stories regarding how men lie and waste your time.
But in what ways and why do men waste women’s time?
There are a lot of factors that trigger all these issues. Some are based on personal choices, while other factors you have no total control of.
As a person who has dated multiple times, I know why a man can waste your time and how you can tell him that you are looking for something serious.
Why Men Waste Your Time?
Some men will waste your time in relationships, leaving you feeling foolish and unwanted.
Note that as I approached my late 20s, I realized that there are men out there who are constantly searching for women they can take for a ride.
The dating scene doesn’t get better as you grow older. But one thing that growth usually brings is experience and discernment; hence you can make better decisions.
But what are some of the reasons that make some men waste their time?
He Doesn’t Know What He Wants.
Any man that doesn’t know what he wants will end up wasting your time.
How can you go forth and make a meaningful relationship if your partner doesn’t have a vision or even a clue about what he wants in life?
There are those men who will simply tell you lets go with the “flow” because they aren’t sure what they want and where they want to go.
This is a big red flag of a time-waster that’s going to drag you along their visionless life.
He is a Narcissist
Many women have ended up wasting their time in relationships because they were dating a narcissist who deflated their self-confidence.
Narcissism is a personality disorder or rather a mental health issue characterized by an individual having an inflated sense of importance.
They constantly crave excessive admiration and attention and are the most significant creators of troubled relationships since they lack empathy for others.
A narcissist will make you feel like your life is nothing without him while he continues to flirt and cheat on you.
The exquisite sense of entitlement and self-importance is meant to keep you around as he wastes your time.
If that’s the case, you shouldn’t waste more time but flee.
When He’s Not into You
If a man isn’t into you but doesn’t know how to tell you, then you will get dragged into his life as he wastes your time.
That’s why you should be able to tell where you stand in a man’s life.
A man might not want you, but he could be enjoying other benefits you are offering, such as money, sex, luxury shopping, etc.
In What Way Do Guys Waste Time?
So, how do you know that the person you are in a relationship with is wasting your time?
I’ll tell you the truth, the tale-tell signs are usually there, but sometimes you just don’t see them, and if you see them, you might be ignoring them.
There are several ways in which guys waste time, and they include:
He Constantly Blows Hot and Cold
This is the most enormous red flag, and you shouldn’t ignore it. One time you are lovey-dovey and a few minutes later is cold and unresponsive.
This usually happens frequently, and you might actually think that it’s the “up and downs” of a relationship.
Any man who keeps pulling you close and then instantly putting you off is wasting your time!
He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious.
If a man tells you he doesn’t want anything serious, then he means it.
Don’t think that you will act right and change his mind. Listen to what he is saying and how he is acting.
Don’t give yourself hope that “I can change his mind” or “he will realize that I am the price.”
From the start, a man that tells you he wants to go with the “flow” of things then let it go at that time and find someone who is looking for someone serious.
Don’t chase after him; instead, accept everything as they are and start again.
You Can’t Tell Where You Stand.
You shouldn’t have to ask yourself where you stand when it comes to your relationship. Love should be sure and enjoyable.
If you have to think twice about where you stand in a person’s life, then it’s time for you to move on.
The right guy will make things easier for you by affirming and letting you know that you are the only one in his life.
You Are the Only One Putting More Effort
If a man wants you in his life, he will put forth the effort and will let you know through his words and actions.
However, if you feel like you are carrying the weight of the relationship, you are probably with a man who wants to waste your time.
Are you the one who starts conversations most of the time? Do you often recommend or request dates? Are you the one who mostly asks where “your” relationship is headed?
If so, then this relationship belongs to you alone. Because if he genuinely wants you, he will put effort.
How to Tell a Guy Not to Squander Your Time
Setting boundaries requires you to say what you want. So, you should definitely tell a guy you are seeing or intend to date not to waste your time. But how should you go about it?
Be Straightforward
You are an adult, so there is no need to beat around the bush and try to camouflage your words.
Say it as it is by simply telling him, “Do not waste my time.” This will save both of you time and a future heartbreak.
Of course, you should be polite and respectful when saying this. However, you need to be firm and severe in how you say it.
This is the only way you can avoid those people who are looking for temporary flings or want to just taste the waters.
Ask Him What He Expects from You or the Relationship
This is another excellent indirect way of telling a guy not to waste your time.
His expectations of you and the relationship will tell you if he is in for a long ride or simply wants to have temporary fun with you.
Your present expectations are just as important as your future expectations, and he should therefore give you an overview of what he thinks.
How to Not Waste Time in a Relationship
The dating scene can be pretty challenging, especially if you don’t know what you want. Time and experience have taught me that I need to have a vision of the person I want to be with.
So, how can you not waste time in a relationship?
Know what you don’t want
It’s crucial to figure out what you want in a guy. When you know the traits and qualities you want in a mate this will help you quickly filter out the guys that don’t want anything serious.
Men that aren’t looking for anything serious are time wasters and should be avoided.
Don’t be Desperate
Desperation is one of the most significant signals that men take advantage of. Sometimes the fear of staying alone is what drives us into the wrong arms.
But don’t ever make yourself look like a fool by appearing to keep yourself busy.
During the days when I craved a companion, I kept myself preoccupied with new life routines. Yoga and outdoor dining are things that kept me entertained during the week and on weekends.
I ended up developing myself mentally and physically, and so when my significant other came along, I had established my interests, and I couldn’t over-depend on them.
Know your Worth
You can hardly miss a topic or a quote regarding knowing your worth on social media.
While it might sound like a cliche, I am here to reinforce it again, “Know Your Worth!”.
No one should tell you otherwise other than what you know about yourself.
You are a beautiful and intelligent woman who is worth it.
You definitely have something in you that makes you unique, and that’s why you should consider yourself exceptional, and that’s why you should only consider a man who treats you like a queen.
Learn to Say No
Put a stop to anything that doesn’t align with your values or principles. The earlier you say, the better you become at saving time.
People, including the man you are dating, may want to test your limits.
However, at no point should you tolerate nonsense. Don’t be impressed by constant apologies because if they wanted to act right, they would.
Learning to say no allows you to set boundaries, and it’s also a clear indicator of what you can’t tolerate.
