Dating in the modern era has changed our view of commitment. Casual dating and friends with benefits have become the norm. Men won’t commit, women often complain.
Women believe men fear commitment and are afraid of a good thing. But to men, this isn’t true. Men don’t fear commitment and rarely pass up a good relationship.
So, what’s going on with men? Why are so many men non-commital? And what can women do to increase commitment in men?
In this article, you will learn why some men don’t commit and how you can increase your chances of getting a commitment from men.
Why don’t men commit?
There are a plethora of reasons men give women why they refuse to commit.
For many men, twenty-first-century relationships offer few benefits and many costs. Men aren’t rushing to commit – we’re weighing the costs. We don’t want to commit to the wrong woman – someone who will make our life harder.
Divorce, separation of property, and child support are things some men are considering – resulting in less motivation to commit.
Generally, men won’t commit to women for 3 reasons – Satisfaction, Alternatives, and Investment.
As we look at each of these reasons you will begin to understand why men aren’t quick to commit.
He won’t commit if he isn’t satisfied.
We commit to women that are the woman of our dreams.
Men – like women – have an imaginary model of their ideal mate and relationship. We form these models by observing relationships – usually from our parents or from our dating experiences – to determine our perfect relationship.
In this mental model, men come up with the most desirable characteristics and traits that make up the woman of their dreams. How this woman treats us, resolves conflicts with us, and cares for us is all thought out.
The woman of our dreams becomes the standard by which all women are measured. The closer a woman is to the woman of a man’s dreams the more satisfied we are and the more likely we are to commit.
If a man imagines the woman of his dreams as a woman that isn’t judgemental nor tries to change him – he isn’t likely to be satisfied in a relationship with a woman that judges him or attempts to change him.
The differences between the woman of his dreams and his real-life woman are too great. And he will not commit.
Men who have several alternatives to get their needs met elsewhere will be non-committal to you.
One of the greatest needs of a man is the respect of his woman. Men need respect as much as a woman needs to hear that her man loves her. To men, there is no better feeling than to know your woman respects you.
The feeling is awesome!
Men look forward to meeting a woman that respects who they are as a person, their decisions, and their dreams.
A woman who uplifts her man, allows him to lead, and when they’re together – it’s always amazing. Women that inspire their men are irreplaceable. And most men will commit to them.
Unfortunately, a lot of men do not meet the woman of their dreams. Many men date women that – intentionally or not – don’t show them respect nor admire them as a person.
Have you ever tried to change or fix a man? Have you ever felt the need to upstage or compete with a man?
If so, you’re sabotaging a potential commitment.
Acts of disrespect cause men to look elsewhere to get their needs met. And with dating apps like Tinder and Bumble growing in popularity, men have more options.
If your man can find another woman willing to respect him, he isn’t going to commit to you.
Why would a man accept your poor treatment if he has alternatives that will treat him better?
Men that aren’t invested in a relationship will not commit.
Investing in a relationship requires two people putting in the work to make the commitment a success.
Men often invest in a woman by asking the woman out, being protective, and supporting the woman emotionally and financially.
If a man is willing to inconvenience himself to offer you help, he values you and thinks you are worthy. You’re on a pedestal to him and you are a woman he could commit to.
However, not every woman can be placed on a pedestal. Men don’t invest in all women. Sometimes a man will not invest in you but still want to keep you around. This usually happens when women invest in men without requiring their investment in return.
For example, a woman that is attracted to a man goes out of her way to pursue the guy by buying him things, cooking for him, and sleeping with him. She is hoping to prove to the man that she would be a great girlfriend. And he would see how great she is and commit to being her man.
Women who attempt to prove to a man how great they are often turn men off.
Instead of trying to prove to men how great you are – here is how to increase your chances of a commitment from men.
How to Increase commitment?
Men – as well as women – form commitments with people who give as much to us as we give to them, treat us according to our expectations, and are our best alternatives at the right time and place.
If you want to increase your odds of a commitment with a man, you must first understand yourself. Ask yourself these questions: What makes you great? Why would the man of your dreams choose you? What quality or trait about you would a man be attracted to?
Be honest with yourself. If you need help answering these questions, ask friends and family members. Better yet, ask men that know you well these questions and listen to what they say.
Once you understand yourself. Date men that complement what you have to offer. For instance, if you’re extroverted and outgoing, try dating a man that is introverted and more reserved. We tend to form compatibility with people that complement us.
Next, be satisfying, men enjoy being with a woman and having a great time out together. A night filled with laughs, fun, and engaging conversation leaves a lasting impression on a man. Strive to create pleasant exchanges with men.
Lastly, look for signs that a man is invested in you. Men that invest in a woman want to commit to that woman. One way a man will invest is by introducing you as his woman to friends and family.
If your man invites you to an event and introduces you as his woman he is invested and wants to commit to you.
Conclusion
Men aren’t commitment-phobic. We will not pass on a good thing. We want commitment just as much as women.
But, we are afraid of committing to the wrong woman. A lot of men fear committing to a woman that will make their life difficult, so we consider the risks – divorce, loss of assets, and child support.
For some men, there are more benefits to a casual relationship than a committed one. These are the minority of men.
The majority of men look forward to meeting and committing to the woman of their dreams. That woman could be you.
