The dating scene had changed from when you were in high school or even when your parents dated. I have always found the dating scene to be different every time I left a relationship.
There couldn’t be a better time for a single person to be looking for a possible mate than the present moment.
The plethora of options means the possibility that you can talk to multiple guys at one moment is higher than ever. For a woman, that is both exciting and frightening.
Thankfully, in this article, I’ll tell you how to make the most of this situation and why you should try this out.
Is it wrong to talk to more than one guy?
To the elephant in the room first, is it wrong to talk to multiple guys? No, it is not. As long as you are not in an exclusive relationship, speaking to more than one guy is all right.
It may be the proper way to date before settling for one person if you think about it.
As a woman, there is apprehension that comes with playing the field. In some circles, it is even viewed as taboo. If it is your first time engaging in this, you may even feel it is dishonest.
Yet, many experts advise people to talk to more people as it is the right approach to find the right person for you.
If you want to know if a guy is serious about you check out this post. In it, you will learn what signs a man gives when he’s into you.
Among the reasons they give is that it allows your focus not to be on one person, making you take things more slowly.
You also get to compare the qualities of different people and make your choice from several options knowing you are actually getting the most compatible person. It allows you to move from your comfort zone as you get to date different kinds of people and find what you truly value in a relationship.
Why talk to multiple guys?
There are several perks you get when you talk to multiple guys before getting into an exclusive relationship. Some of the main ones include;
1. You expand your options.
Dating is primarily a numbers game. The more guys you talk to within a specific time frame, the more likely you will find a person sooner.
Further, you get more variety which allows you to pick the qualities you want in a partner instead of having to do with the one person.
2. You get to keep everything light and at your pace
When you are only talking to one person, all your focus and time will be taken by that one person. It is likely then that you may move things faster than you would intend.
It is easy to keep things casual with several partners as your time is not hogged on one person.
3. You learn more about yourself.
You may be surprised about how much you can learn about yourself by talking to multiple guys.
Given that each guy is different, you will know which aspects are consistent with you and which qualities you value most.
4. It helps you understand what you want in a relationship
Besides learning more about yourself, you also know what you want in a relationship. The different experiences from talking to multiple guys show you what you value or should value most in a relationship.
Your interactions clarify your aims and priorities.
5. You are objective in your choices.
Since you are not focussing on one person, you can evaluate each partner honestly and have a basis for comparison.
Your affections develop after learning the various guys, so you will not be blind to any red flags.
6. It builds your confidence and social skills.
Talking to multiple guys has the extra advantage of building your social skills. You grow comfortable with the meet and greet process and even improve your flirting skills.
More importantly, it boosts your confidence.
Cons of talking to multiple guys
1. You could face disapproval.
Not everyone around you, including friends and family, will be okay and comfortable with the idea that you are talking to different guys.
It does not mean you should listen to them or that you are doing anything wrong.
But you should be prepared for adverse reactions from some people in case you share your decision.
2. You may find it challenging to end the relationships
If you talk to multiple guys for long enough, it may be difficult to end things with them when you choose to be exclusive as you have to ‘break up with each of them, which could be overwhelming emotionally.
3. Some partners may not agree with you.
Not all partners will be open to the idea of you seeing other people, and you could potentially lose a potential mate because of this. on the flip side, it helps you weed out overly possessive individuals.
4. The risk of burnout
If you talk to many guys, it can eat up your free time and be demanding on your emotional and social resources. It may seem fun at first, but you risk having dating burnout.
5. You may not connect deeply.
Because your time is split across several guys, you may end up having casual connections.
This is not a bad thing unless you are looking for a long-term relationship that will suffer from the lack of deep bonds.
How to talk to multiple men?
If you need help talking to multiple guys without being shady or losing the real sense of it, here are some guidelines to use.
1. Be honest
You need to be honest with each person you are talking to early enough that you are not in an exclusive relationship with them.
They seek clarity, be honest about that, and ensure all parties are comfortable with the setup.
2. Do not make it a competition.
It is not proper to turn this option into a competition among them. Pitting the men against each other allows you to miss the objectivity opportunity brought by having different options.
3. End things early enough
It is proper to end things when it becomes clear that things will not progress with one guy or guy.
The same is true if you have chosen to be exclusive with someone else.
Do not string people along, and certainly do not ghost on them.
4. Understand that you do not have to settle for any of them
Just because you are seeing two or more people does not mean you have to end up with one of them.
None of them may be the right person, so do not feel trapped by the fact that you may have to let all of them go.
5. Assume they are also seeing other people
If you see other people, they are likely each seeing other people too, even if they have not communicated it.
Do not get jealous or feel lied to if they are also playing the field.
6. Practice safe sex
If you are going to get intimate, you should protect yourself and your partners by practicing safe sex.
Being casual about this can quickly spread STIs and STDs among your partners and their partners.
7. Keep details to yourself.
Just because you are open to talking to multiple people does not mean you discuss details about who they are and your experiences with them.
They deserve their privacy, and this can only breed jealousy and competition.
8. Do not go overboard and talk to too many people at a go
To avoid dating burnout, only talk to as many partners as you can comfortably handle. There is no set number as it varies by personality.
9. Do not act like a girlfriend if you are seeing other people
Make sure your actions match your words.
Do not say you are not in an exclusive relationship, yet go on doing girlfriend stuff like meeting his family and even having personal, romantic gifts and spending more time at each other’s place.
It can give the wrong impression.
10. Do not feel guilty; there are perks to it.
Finally, do not do it half-heartedly, feeling guilty and all. It is nothing wrong, and there are plenty of benefits; just don’t be shady about it.
