Does anyone want a committed relationship nowadays? Hookup Culture seems to be everywhere. No one dates monogamous anymore.
Every guy you’ve met on Tinder wants to Netflix and chill. Hooking up was exciting when you were in your 20s. But not so much in your 30s – when you’re looking for a serious relationship.
So, how do you avoid Hookup Culture when you want a committed relationship?
In this post, we’ll discuss the problem with Hookup Culture, and I’ll give you 5 simple tips to avoid Hookup Culture in general.
Why Do People Hook Up?
Before I show you how to Avoid Hookup Culture, you must understand why people engage in hookups.
- Instant gratification/requires less time.
Developing a relationship requires a lot of time for many men and women. Dating involves setting up an online profile, communicating with potential mates, going on dates, and developing chemistry. Hopefully, after several dates, you find a guy that wants to make your relationship exclusive.
Finding a compatible mate requires a lot of dating, and you’ll meet many incompatible men before finding your soulmate. Because dating and relationships require a considerable time commitment, many people prefer hookups.
For some women, having a no-strings-attached relationship requires little or no time commitment- this is a significant benefit. It’s easier to end friends-with-benefits situations if the situation no longer fulfills their needs.
- No Commitment
Additionally, several women engage in hookup Culture because there’s no commitment. When you’re not emotionally involved with your mate, it’s easier to not take what he says personally.
Also, when you know you’re not in an exclusive relationship, you are free to focus on your career or educational goals – something career-oriented women and college students enjoy.
Now that you understand why people engage in Hookup Culture – What’s the problem with Hookup Culture?
Why You Shouldn’t Hook Up? The Problem with Hook-Up Culture.
You don’t learn the necessary skills for a committed relationship.
Being able to jump from one no-strings-attached relationship to the next doesn’t help you develop the skills you need in a committed relationship. No relationship is perfect, and everyone has issues they need to resolve.
When you’re in a relationship, issues will arise, and how you overcome those issues with your man will make you a better person. You grow for the better.
Instead, if you engage in hookups – when issues appear, you’re likely to end the relationship instead of working through the obstacles. Because you can’t resolve problems with your partner – the best version of yourself doesn’t develop.
Instant gratification/requires less time.
Relationships require time to develop, and lasting relationships also need both people to work to make the relationship work.
The problem with Hookup Culture is instant gratification. You do not need to invest much time in getting to know someone before sleeping with someone.
When your goal is a relationship, you must learn to invest in getting to know someone. Getting to know a person requires time – you must date and spend a lot of time together.
No Commitment
I think this issue explains itself, so I’m not going to elaborate too much. Hookup Culture teaches you nothing about commitment because you’ve never had to commit to anyone.
However, relationships require you to commit to someone.
Hookups don’t fulfill you.
The last problem with Hookup Culture is many times, your needs won’t be fulfilled.
In almost all hookups, one person in the Hookup situation will want more from the relationship than what the other person is willing to give.
Few people can handle Hook-up Culture. When the Hookup situation ends, one person resents the other. And that resentment can turn to bitterness in time as the unfulfilled person realizes they gave more than the other person.
So, how do you avoid Hookup Culture?
5 Ways to Avoid Hookup Culture.
Here are 5 simple ways to avoid Hookup Culture.
Communicate what you want.
Communication is vital if you want something more than a casual fling. When you meet a guy you’re interested in, it’s essential to talk about what you’re looking for in a man and relationship.
You don’t want to date a guy for 6 months, thinking you’re in a relationship, to find out he’s dating other women. To avoid confusion, communicate your intentions early in the dating process – on the first date or phone call before feelings are involved.
If he wants a more casual relationship, you can end things quickly.
Only Date Like-Minded Men.
After you have communicated that you want a relationship with a guy, listen to his response. Again if he wants something other than what you’re looking for – a no-strings relationship – you can move on.
And find men who only want what you’re looking for, a committed relationship.
Evaluate Guys based on Their Husband Material.
Once you meet a man that shares similar values as yourself, you should pay attention to his behavior towards you. Is he faithful and trustworthy?
If there’s an issue, does he work to resolve the problem, or does he run?
What you want to do is evaluate his ability to be your husband. Do you see a future with this person? And does he make future plans with you in mind?
Be mindful of guys that say they want a commitment, but their actions speak otherwise.
Be Mindful of Your Friends.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “birds of a feather flock together.” The phrase means your friends are a reflection of who you are.
If all your friends are into Hookup Culture and engage in no-strings-attached relationships – other people will assume you’re into Hookup Culture as well.
So be Mindful of Your Friends and the company you keep. When you want to avoid Hookup Culture, you must keep friends that don’t engage in hookups and one-night stands.
Constantly Improve Yourself.
Lastly, if you’re trying to avoid Hookup Culture, you should constantly work on improving yourself. You cannot attract a committed mate if you aren’t willing to commit to someone.
If you’ve always been in casual relationships but want to be committed yet, don’t know how – there are tons of relationship help books to help you.
Start by reading relationship books and write down what a committed relationship looks like for you. Become the person you want to be, and you’ll attract a committed mate.
Takeaway
Although you may feel that Hookup Culture is everywhere and no men are willing to get to know you – before sleeping with you.
Remember that to avoid Hookup Culture, its critical that you:
- Communicate What You Want
- Only Date Like-Minded Men
- Vet Men Based on Their Husband Material
- Be Mindful of Your Friends
- Improve Yourself
Now that you’ve learned how to Avoid Hookup Culture its time to apply what you’ve learned. Use what you have learned to meet men that want more from you than a no-strings relationship.
If you liked this post, check out Do Men Catch Feelings After Hooking Up. And learn why men don’t have feelings after sex – unlike most women.
