Every woman knows, instinctively, that they should not come off as desperate. But it is easier said than done.
When you look desperate, two things could happen. Men will know you are clingy and assume you are accessible, or they will find you creepy and repelling.
So, what makes a woman despairing to guys?
The first thing is being too available. You can place this in the “stuff you already know but keep ignoring” list.
A woman playing hard-to-get is attractive. Instead of always being at his beck and call, let him miss and crave your company.
If you got a trophy or a certificate of participation, which one would you value more?
The next thing women do that creeps men out is, texting and calling too much.
Believe it or not, you will look like a super freak if you double text, keep leaving missed calls, and call to ask if he got your text or if his phone is working.
Unless it is an emergency, keep the communication subtle.
The third mistake is making plans longer than a week out. If you start making such plans and have only been together for a few weeks, you look like you have no other options. Thus, desperate and lonely!
Also, do not get obsessed and be the eager one in the relationship. Have you ever been on a date, and a guy told you to chill out, relax, and lay back?
You were probably giving off clingy vibes. Remember that the secret is to stop appearing desperate – you don’t have to stop being desperate!
Signs Women Show When They Are Desperate
Men often complain that women are too hungry (read desperate) for love and a happy-ever-after. Women act clingy when they misread guys and jump to conclusions or get fascinated quickly.
Do you think you are desperate in your relationships? Here are a few signs to check in your behavior.
- You consistently settle immediately you meet someone.
- You insist on meeting the parents too early in the relationship.
- Intentionally leaving clothes or jewelry at his place, so he calls you.
- Stalking your partner constantly
- Insatiable attention-seeking and fishing for praises
- You are always on your phone, social media, or dating apps.
- You blame yourself for everything.
Never forget that being needy is a no-no in relationships. If you are doing something that portrays you as clingy, gradually change it and see men treating you better.
Why is Desperation so Unattractive to Guys?
If only women could read men! Gladly, this post is a close second. There is a thin line between expressing desire and neediness. And women rarely know the difference.
The main reason men avoid desperate women is because they find it appalling. A clingy woman who is always available is a nuisance.
Besides, to a man, it means that you can be easy with other guys too.
Needy women are also a turn-off because it means they have nothing better to do. If a man is interested in you, he should be okay knowing that you won’t be a bother for the rest of the relationship.
Calling and texting a guy all the time, going to his apartment unannounced – these are just indicators of a woman without a social life.
Men also dislike women who lean in too much because it seems inauthentic.
If someone were always too willing in your life experiences, hobbies, and interests, you would have doubts about them. Men feel that if a woman is too eager, she is faking her interest in them.
How to Stop Coming Across as Desperate to Guys?
If you have gotten this far, you are almost there! There are many reasons ladies get desperate for men.
Whether it is past heartbreaks, the one that got away, a series of failed relationships, a biological clock, you name it! They are all answerable, but are you ready to do the work?
1. Don’t Care if He Calls or Texts Back
The goal is to be the woman that does not stress out if he does not reply ASAP. And you didn’t notice because you are trying to be the alpha female, but because you are too busy living your best life.
Do not play games. Instead, genuinely learn how to let things go and be independent.
Take a break from your relationship whenever you want to, and value your safe space.
2. Take Baby Steps
Avoid fantasizing about your future right into a new relationship. Give yourself time to see the good, the bad, and the ugly in your date/partner.
Dating should be a happy experience, not constantly pressuring a man to be pleased with you.
It also helps to check your standards and understand that not every guy you date is Mr. Right.
3. Don’t Be Defensive About Your Single Status
Ladies have no idea that joking about their being single looks desperate. A simple text like “Just another holiday with me and my cats” could turn a guy off instantly. The reason is, it is self-deprecating. If a guy feels like they are too ready for a relationship, it raises red flags-jokes about being single forever and dying alone, broadcasting your insecurities about loneliness.
4. Take it Easy on Social Media
It is vital to have a life outside your phone’s screen.
When you meet a great guy, and the date goes well, resist the urge to add him on all platforms. Men appreciate a more toned-down approach in the early stages of a relationship.
You have better things to do rather than waste hours i-stalking your date.
As an alternative, try enjoying your me-time. Of course, it will be hard at first, but you will soon get the hang of it.
5. Have Courage to Walk Away
Learn when to walk away- both literally and figuratively.
For instance, you are out partying, you meet a nice man, and you like talking to him. In fact, you are building castles in the air, and the conversation is heated.
At this moment, you leave, refill your drink, hit the dance floor, go to the ladies’, or start talking to another guy.
After a while, you circle back and pick up with the guy you are interested in. The rule is, leave him wanting more, giving him enough time to desire you.
No-Nonsense Tips to Earn a Man’s Respect
If a guy wants you to be his long-term partner, he has to be sure that you have high self-esteem, values, and standards, and that you can take care of yourself.
The first thing every woman should do is have healthy boundaries.
Ladies naturally let their guard down when they have feelings for someone. If you do this, a man will wonder if you lower your standards for every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Next, have self-control. If your friends or family control your thoughts and decisions, no man will be comfortable forming a relationship with you.
Showing emotional independence and independence demands respect from every man in your life.
Lastly, learn how to show your intelligence and smarts to disapprove stereotypes – but don’t act like a know-it-all.
Some men assume that women are inferior because they pay attention to shallow things. If you prove them correct, they will treat you like a doormat.
A man will only disrespect you if he knows he can get away with it.
Therefore, remember to respect yourself first before you start dating again. Respect is two-way traffic – to receive it, you must project it.
Takeaways
If you are in a relationship and your man does not respect you, things have to change for the better.
You should either walk out of the relationship or teach him how to respect you.
For new connections, you could just be figuring out your boundaries, so take it slow. You should also remember that men feel desperate but comfortably use their manipulations (not mind games) to seem more substantial.
Hence, do not hate yourself for battling the urge to double text or stalking him on social media.
When all is said and done, it all comes down to you.
Exuding feminine self-confidence is the ultimate answer to killing desperation.
And if a man can’t appreciate this, he is definitely not the one – or even close!
