It is the 21st Century, but surprisingly, men still test women, or better yet, test the waters – a lot. Not all tests are negative or manipulative.
At times, a man will push you to know if you are the one.’ Women are really complicated. So, naturally, men feel like they have to be sure they are not making a mistake.
But how do you know if he is just testing the waters or wasting your time?
The secret is finding out the man’s intention, a process that this post will get you through seamlessly. If you withstand mind games in the name of testing the waters, you are creating room for a toxic relationship.
There are many ways men test the waters and why they do it, so keep reading to know how to pass these tests and keep your relationship moving forward.
What Do Testing the Waters Mean in a Relationship?
Many times, women mistake what testing the waters means in a relationship.
This misunderstanding has brought many relationships to an end. Some of which could have been happily-ever-afters.
When a guy tests the waters, they are trying to confirm their doubts about you, getting to know you better, and knowing if your actions match your words. Men usually do this when you start dating or when they get cold feet.
A man testing the waters is a good thing because he won’t ghost you in the early stages of the relationship.
The reason is, men slow it down when they start dating. If they realize you are the woman they are looking for, they stick around.
If not, they will probably take advantage of the situation and get away with getting you in bed – only if you let them.
By learning the games men play and being the master, you will be able to tell if he is the usual elusive horror story or the partner you’ve been looking for.
Why do Guys Test the Waters in a Relationship?
In simple terms, men test the waters to see if the relationship is worthwhile. They figure that if you can pass these tests, you will remain loyal to them.
Nonetheless, there are tons of reasons why a would test the waters in a relationship.
1. He Wants to See How You React to Tough Situations
Men take “in sickness and in health” too seriously when they start dating. They will devise scenarios to gauge how you handle stress and pressure to see if you will stick by their side when tough times come.
A man will need to know that regardless of the situation, you will never leave.
2. He Wants to See How Jealous You Are
Every guy loves a little crazy in a woman. But if you are the toxic, jealous type, you will scare him off.
Thus, the man will talk about his female friends, co-workers, exes, or even go the extra mile of flirting to see how jealous or insecure you are.
Other men like it when their partners get jealous, so they want to know how you lash out when you are.
3. To Test Your Faithfulness
Men claim that women are insecure, but they are just too selfish to admit they are too! And it is not their fault; they are wired that way.
A man can go to the extent of asking his close friend to flirt with you to see if you will be truthful and faithful to him.
Men need to know that even if there is always someone sexier, richer, and more charming out there, you will have his back.
4. He Wants to Learn Your Personality
How a man stays interested in you all lies in your personality. Do you get his humor and sarcasm? Are you willing to engage in his hobbies? Are you open-minded and spontaneous? Do you love him for his money?
Men will do anything to figure out how compatible you are before the commit. It could be playing with you instead or suggesting a crazy sexual scenario you are not used to.
5. He Wants to See You at Your Most-Natural
Women clean up nice when they go on dates to impress men. But a man will want to know how you look when you wake up or after a long day of work or classes.
So, he will drop by unexpectedly. It may sound tacky, but that’s just how men are.
Why Does a Man Test the Waters with Someone Else?
Men will test the waters with another woman if they are unsure about committing to you or if they want to keep their options open.
Sometimes, they are just not ready to settle.
If a man realizes that you are not worthy of a substantial relationship, he will start seeing other people searching for a lifelong partner.
Men try to start seeing other women, if you fail their tests, get bored, or are just primary players.
Some men will date other women if you are not what they are looking for in a serious relationship but are giving them benefits like attention, sex, and company.
If a man is testing the waters with someone else, confront him maturely or just leave the relationship!
By following these tips and guidelines, you will differentiate between the casual guy, the player, the ghosting type, the sex seekers, and Mr. Right.
How to Tell if a Guy is Testing the Waters with Someone Else?
The first thing to look at is his behavior. Men tend to repeat patterns when they get into a new relationship.
Hence, think of how he acted when you started dating. If he works this way towards other women, he will probably test the waters with them too.
Consequently, if he loses his affection and passion over time, he is most likely working on hooking another woman.
It is important to ask him about his past sexual encounters and relationships without coming off as insecure.
If he left another woman for you, he is probably testing the waters with someone else or about to. Watch out for men who insist that they will change. In most cases, they are giving similar empty promises to someone else.
You can tell if a man is dating someone else if he gets secretive with his calls, texts, and social media.
If your man ignores phone calls all the time saying he’ll call later, or if he refers to you as a friend when on calls, maybe he is dating someone else.
Lastly, you can tell if you are not the only one by checking out for physical evidence.
What you are looking for is right in front of you. Thus, if you see jewelry and feminine products that don’t belong to you, consider it a major red flag.
Other warning signs are movie tickets, empty condom wrappers, and hotel receipts.
Of course, guys will use their friends as scapegoats. And that is why this post is here for every woman to learn from.
How to Pass All the Tests He Gives You
Men do not expect you to feign enthusiasm when dating them. Instead, they want you to be yourself but still be interested in what they like.
For starters, show him that you enjoy his hobbies, even if you don’t understand them.
Next, avoid being too uptight when he gets sarcastic or asks questions out of the ordinary.
He is probably checking if you have a sense of humor, are willing to try something new, or are flexible.
Do not be desperate for their company, but show them that you’d be open to surprise dates and adventurous experiences.
Men are tardy about spontaneity in the first stages of dating.
When a man picks a date setting that passes your boundaries, do not freak out and go all AWOL. Keep your calm, and take on the challenge to prove that you are a carefree soul.
Another way to win him over is by being tolerant and independent. All men want some time alone, especially if they are successful and have it all figured out in life.
There is an outstanding line between being clingy and showing interest. When he asks you for some space, give it to him.
Solve your issues, and let him solve his!
As long as your man knows that you understand him and are supportive, he will never ghost you. And if he does, never forget that you decide whether to let him back into your life or not.
Conclusion
Men are a whole species from Pluto, but women need them. Not just for comfort, but to feel desired, feel loved, build a partnership and a family.
But bail before getting hurt when a man takes advantage of relationship tests to play mind games and waste your precious time.
Now that you know how and why men test the waters, you will learn to avoid traps and identify red flags.
Taking your relationship to the next level is not necessary unless you have determined your compatibility and loyalty to each other.
How you handle a man will set the precedence for your relationship. Make him feel unique but not special enough to get away with anything.
