You’ve dated all kinds of men, tall, short, alpha men, and beta dudes. These guys were charming, fun, and engaging.
You liked a couple of these guys, but it never worked out. The guys you liked seemed to only want sex from you. Thinking to yourself, you conclude that’s how men in their twenties are, so you chalk it up to immaturity.
Now in your thirties, you want something more from a man than sexual intimacy. But guys still seem to only want sex and not a relationship from you. So, what’s the deal? How do you find a guy that doesn’t just want sex?
In this post, I will show you why men only want sex from you. What you can do to make a guy want more than sex. And I’ll show you how to find a guy that doesn’t just want sex.
Why do guys only want sex from you and not a relationship?
Through no fault of your own, men view you as “too easy to get.”
Guys only want sex from women when they don’t have to invest in the woman. In other words, if a woman is easy, a man will not believe he has someone special and worth being in a relationship with.
You probably aren’t sure what you’re doing to give men this impression. So, I’m going to explain.
You’ve heard the expression,” men want a challenge. “This expression means a guy wants a woman, which not every guy can easily have. And how a man determines if a woman is a challenge is by how hard-to-get a woman is.
When a guy approaches you and you all exchange numbers, he wants to know your type of woman. He will test you to determine if you’re worth investing in a relationship or if he sees you only for sex.
For example, you just met an attractive guy. He calls you the next day to set up a date at his house. You agree to the date. Now let’s fast forward to date night, you’re at his place, and one thing leads to another, and you sleep with him.
A week later, he hangs out with you, and the night ends with sex. Without you knowing it, this seemingly great guy only wants sex from you.
Again, this isn’t your fault because you didn’t know you were being tested. When a guy meets a woman, he wants to see if he’s found a woman of value or not.
If a guy doesn’t value you, he’ll only want sex from you.
How do you get him interested in more than intimacy?
You can get a man interested in more than sex with you by being a challenge. Suppose you meet a guy while you’re out with friends. When the guy calls for a date and suggests you come to his house, decline the offer.
Tell him you don’t go to men’s homes you don’t know, but you would love to spend some time with him at this new restaurant or nightclub that just opened.
You’re showing the guy that you value yourself, and if he wants to get to know you, he has to date you and invest in you.
If a guy calls you late at night, don’t answer; return his call the next day. Tell him, “sorry I missed your call last night, but I was asleep or busy.” This response tells the guy you’re not a booty call and don’t prioritize him over your life.
Believe it or not. Men love women that don’t make them the center of their world. When you have a life of your own, this shows men you’re confident and worth pursuing.
How to Find a Guy that Doesn’t Just Want Sex?
Most men will want to sleep with you if they’re attracted to you. So, guys wanting sex from you isn’t the issue. The problem is sex seems to be all guys want from you.
You’re frustrated with this dynamic and want to find a guy that doesn’t just want to sleep with you. If you want a man that’s serious about a relationship, you must have standards, have boundaries, challenge men, and be available.
- Have Standards
Men will use you for sex if they know you don’t have standards. Having Standards means you don’t date every guy that asks you out. You have a standard for the way a guy must behave and treat you.
Standards show men that you respect yourself, and men must respect you to get close to you.
Side note: Every woman should have standards. The only problem is if your standards aren’t realistic. If you have unrealistic standards and need to lower your standards, check out What Lowering Your Standards Look Like.
- Have Boundaries
I’m not going to go into great detail with boundaries because I have written an article about how to set boundaries that you should read.
But I will say that boundaries show men what your limits are. When you develop healthy boundaries, it tells men that you’re a woman of high regard.
- Be a Challenge to Men
Men love a chase. Guys are particularly interested in women that challenge them. You can challenge men by playing hard-to-get.
Note: I’ve written a few posts about playing hard-to-get and what women get wrong playing hard-to-get that you should read for more details.
Men want women, but not every guy can get them; if you play hard to get them correctly, guys will not see you as someone to sleep with but as a woman worth committing to.
- Make Yourself Available
Once you have worked on improving yourself, you’ve set your standards, built healthy boundaries, and learned to be a challenge to guys.
The last thing you need to do is make yourself available for a guy that isn’t all about sex. You can make yourself available to men by being approachable while running errands.
Try to keep a smile while at the gym or supermarket. Women with a pleasant disposition are more approachable.
Other than meeting guys in public, another great place to find men that won’t just sleep with you is online and on dating apps.
I know a lot of women think online dating sucks, but dating apps offer many benefits. When you have a dating profile, guys know you’re single and available. You can cast a giant net into a larger dating pool.
If you approach online dating correctly, you can meet a guy that wants more than sex.
Takeaway
Finding a man that isn’t all about sex isn’t as hard as you think. If you remember to have standards, set boundaries, challenge men, and make yourself available, you can find a guy that doesn’t just want sex from you.
In this post, I’ve shown you why men only want sex from you. What you can do to make a guy want more than sex. And I also showed you how to find a guy that doesn’t just want sex.
Now it’s time for you to take what you’ve learned and attract men that want more from you than sex.
If you liked this post, check out What Sex Means to Men. And learn from a guy’s perspective what men think about sex.
